Category Archives: slut shaming

Talkback: In defense of Rihanna

Talkback: In defense of Rihanna

“Second, the criticisms that young female musicians like Rihanna have been receiving about selling their sexualized image to the music industry are almost always whorephobic. It’s paternalistic and antifeminist to condemn what a woman chooses to do with her body, including the choice to engage in sex work (be it stripping or otherwise).”

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Losing virginity for good

Losing virginity for good

“The idea of your first penis-in-vagina sexual encounter being something significant and life altering (well, for women anyway) has origins in women being considered property.

That is to say, virginity is a social construction that came about because of the commodification of women.

Since women were (and sometimes still are) considered property, when they got married, they were passed on to their husbands from their fathers. You know the whole father-walks-his-daughter-down-the-aisle tradition? Well, it represents a transfer of property from her father to her husband. Her father was literally giving her away.”

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On Virginity.

I hate the term virginity as much as I hate misogyny, racism and tomatoes. The fact that for centuries it has been used and continues to be used as a tool for controlling women’s sexuality makes me even more repulsed by it. Being defined as a virgin has different implications for men and women and it’s unfair that women must be burdened to “keep their virginity”, while men have no pressure to keep it or value it. Their self worth and character won’t be up for debate if or when they decide to engage in sexual activity.  But the term alone is damaging to society because the concept of virginity puts unwarranted pressures on women to be submissive and in the case of men it shapes their interactions and relationships with women.  The worst part is that women have internalized this concept and use it to oppress each other.  It is called slut shaming.  Men engage in it as well, but the internalization of “virginity” as a virtue and a defining characteristic by women makes social rejection of this concept greater to achieve when the group being most damaged by it also uses “virginity” as a tool for defining their self worth and as a tool for shaming.  Don’t forget that in some countries women are killed for not “being virgins”because their sexuality represents a family’s honor.

Its time that we start changing the way society treats women’s sexuality. Let’s acknowledge that women like men are sexual beings. Let’s stop valuing women for their willingness to conform to oppressive systems. Let’s stop instilling in women that their sexual inexperience will some how evelvate her status or gain her special privileges.  Let’s stop treating “virginity” or lack there of as a moral issue because it isn’t. Oppressing a group of people to the point that they will be killed for not submitting to another’s will isn’t moral. Oppressing women over something as superficial as “virginity” is not moral. “Virginity” is not real. It was made up to control and suppress women’s sexuality. We need to give that up. “Virginity” is an outdated concept that helps no one. Remaining a “virgin” doesn’t make a woman a better person.  What it does make her is sexually inexperienced and unaware of the joys of sex.  Sex is fun and there is always something new to learn. What’s wrong with enjoying something as natural as sex and admitting to liking it? The answer for women is shame. It’s shameful for women to identify as sexual beings because of the concept of “virginity”. But what social functions does “virginity” fulfill other than the oppression of women?  Let’s cut the bullshit. “Virginity” is nothing more than an outdated concept used to suppress women’s sexuality by attaching honor and virtue to its definition.

Some idiots will say that I just want women to let loose and go on a fucking spree and catch an STI or unwanted pregnancies.  To them I say. Yes! I do want women to let loose. I want them to set themselves free from the constraints brought upon their sexual lives by “virginity”. If they want to go on a fucking spree they should go for it and enjoy themselves. What’s wrong with that? STI’s and unwanted pregnancies you say? We live in the 21st fucking century. If we let go of the immoral and damaging concept of virginity and all the bullshit that is associated with it people in general would be better informed about STI’s and pregnancy prevention and we wouldn’t have to worry about it as much.  Instead of scaring people and teaching them to be ashamed of sexual feelings we should, for the progression of a healthy and accepting society, teach people about the importance of owning their sexuality. Let’s teach our young girls that if they want to engage in sexual activity they should be aware of not only the responsibilities that come with having sex, but the importance of having sex for pleasure and not for the pressure of maintaining certain relationships or for the sole purpose of bearing children.

In conclusion, FUCK “VIRGINITY”!

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